Bordering Absurdity

 Note: 1 is the best possible rating you can receive; 5 is the worst.

I've joined many Otherkin-related forums and websites in order to get a proper idea of how each are run. What is generally considered acceptable, what they think is completely over the top, what is taboo, etc. I have joined and actively participated in every one I could find, even those that required a referral from another member and e-mailing the administrator so they understood you were serious about the subject at hand.

However, first to be reviewed in Otherkin Alliance, a forum that I became a member of when it was just starting up and have recently returned to. I stuck around for two years, left, and then joined again approximately a year later and have been on there since then. I wanted to see how it would transform from its beginnings into a fully flourishing and self-sustaining forum. It was easier for me to see this objectively by participating, leaving, and returning with memories of how it previously was to understand if it had become noticeably better or worse in the time I had been gone.

In comparison to how it originally was it has become vastly superior for the soon to be stated reasons. However, with all forums it still has its downsides; nothing is perfect for everything can still be improved.

Note: you must join OKA in order to view the forum. Otherwise it will ask you to log in before continuing or to register.

 

The Pros

Extremely active

Every day you will find a new post in almost every subject. However, some subjects are noticeably more active than others. You will not often find a new topic heading in the following Kin Specific threads: Dragons, Starseeds, Walk-Ins & Multiples, Elementals, Elves & Fae, Polymorphs, Non-specified & Other. If you do see that something new has been written it will most often be a response to a necro'd thread as opposed to something completely new. While I can understand this, for some it may be a little rough as they only want to read on topics about their specific kin-type. While I would recommend attempting to find a forum that catered to your primary 'kin type(s), you will get virtually immediate responses to new topics you post. Just do not expect them to solely be from your 'kin type i.e. Elemental if others have an answer for you.

The 'Kin Chat' run by Motley is also very active and a good place to go if you want people to respond to you immediately. You can also find reliable members there to private chat with on various topics, given that you ask them if you can PM them first, so I would highly recommend going there if you find the forum lacking for the above stated reasons. The 'Kin Chat' also has people in it constantly on weekdays and weekends from around 5 PM to 2 AM Central Time; sometimes later, sometimes earlier. 

 

Relatively easy to settle down in

Once you post an introductory thread and get to know the most active members it can be easy to label Otherkin Alliance your primary resource for information and miscellany. Those who are most well known tend to typically have knowledge on virtually every subject thinkable, whether they are a specific 'kin type or magic user, and as a general rule will be completely willing to give it to you. While it is recommend that you post in the specific subject threads, there are members who do not mind taking things to private messaging on the forum itself and discuss it through there. They will also keep any information you may talk to them about completely private and to themselves and will not tell other members unless you say it is OK for them to do so.

While it may seem like this is an obvious 'must' for ANY forum or website out there, I have run across several where I confided in members I thought were trustworthy and they instead told everyone the information. I can understand doing so if it threatens the forum or the people in it and I will not fault anyone for that. But if it is something you kept secret to yourself (example, I'm a synthetic and didn't want anyone to know yet since I knew the forum tended to reject people who claimed that identity) and it will not bring harm down on anyone/thing, then I find it inexcusable to divulge it without their permission first.

That said, because of the member base and their responses, the Otherkin Alliance is extremely easy to settle down in and a great place to get to know other 'kin of similar and different types.

 

Willingness to discuss varying topics

As the above and the below, you would think this would be a requirement for a forum to function at all. Again I have run into those that seem to have a problem with even the most mundane or simple of subjects. OKA is not one of them and in fact could be considered to flaunt this rather freely. While there are some subjects taboo to them just as there is in our society (and what they consider such is for a very good reason), the majority do not mind most subject matter. And for those who do not like the given topic they generally will not respond unless they have viable information. They try not to be rude, though there are a few prominent members who slide down into the vicious territory.

 

Willingness to give new members a chance

While they would prefer your introduction was not riddled with typos, improper use of grammar and punctuation, or bad English in general, they are willing to give nearly everyone a chance. They will judge you based on your actions and not your literary abilities. If your writing is terrible but you are legitimately trying to improve and they can tell, they won't ride you for it or label you a fluff monster or troll. By the same token if you write sounding like either of the latter two mentioned they will warn you, but they will not ban you unless you continue to act in such a manner in every single post you make. The longest I saw for them to bring the ban-hammer down was at approximately 200 posts which I think is a good benchmark. It gives you an idea of who they really are as well as if they're going to continue acting in the same manner. However, if almost every member finds you irritating and messages the moderators and the mods agree, they will remove you from the forum.

To note I have seen them give members a second chance if they e-mail either the administrator of the forum or one of the moderators, but they will be very strict on what they will and will not allow. I personally do not consider this a downside as the person in question may have matured by the time they decide they want to join again.

 

The Cons

Member Irritability

As the line suggests, some members are extremely easy to anger or agitate. If you call them by the wrong name once, if you state something they do not agree with, if you suggest a dislike of a God/Goddess/All Powerful Being that they worship, are god-spoused to, etc. they will not be happy with you. This commonly occurs with three specific members whose names I will not specify, but if you get on their bad side--or bother them at all--you better watch out. They tend to band together and support one another while everyone else will back off and leave you to fend them off by yourself. If you are unable to do so they will ride you until you either apologize or ban you for a short time. While I consider this taking advantage of the powers they have been given either in chat or on the forum, no one else raises an eyebrow. Whether this is out of fear of their wrath or respect I honestly cannot say.

Do note that this has NOT happened to me. I am not writing this from personal experience of them outright attacking me or being rude. I have only seen it in the way they have treated other members on the chat and in the forum. One such instance I witnessed was so ridiculous I had to keep from laughing and reprimanding the member in question for doing something so extremely stupid. If I had I know they would have temporarily banned me from chat. 

I consider this to be one of the massive cons to the forum and the 'Kin Chat'. Also, some who are given the power to moderate are simply given it because they have been a member for a while or are in good graces with those higher up. This is also a major con, but not massive enough to have its own heading.

 

Extreme Skepticism

I consider their debate thread a great place. You can have serious discussions there without completely trampling other members with accusations of lying or being an idiot.

Unless it is something the, again prominent, members do not agree with. If you say something they find so utterly moronic even if it is an intelligent argument, they will ridicule and shoot you down. This does not happen often; but it does occur in threads that are not for debate, primarily 'kin-specific or general discussion where their extremely rude commentary does not belong.

This is from both personal experience and how I have seen them treating other members. 

 

Amazing Member Mention

In Otherkin Alliance, it is rare that you find someone who is not only fully accepting of you, but who will also support and make suggestions that aid you. I have had personal experience with this member and he has supported me time and again when other admins/moderators were riding me for holding a certain idea. However, this does not mean he will not tell you if you are about to do something stupid! While he will say it in a very kind, concise, and to the point manner, he also puts it in a way that does not make you feel threatened or as though he is about to ban you from everything humanly possible.

He is also the sole reason why I revealed that I was a Synthetic Otherkin.

I have mentioned him in various other forums that I have seen him on as well as chat. The name I have most commonly seen him go by is either The Lark or Lark. As he lives on the other side of the planet if you are from the United States, you will most commonly see him in the chat in the later hours; i.e. 2-3+ AM Central Time. If on the forum he will comment on every post with something insightful. I have yet to see him say or do something that is note even remotely helpful. Thus if you want someone you can trust and confide in, he is the perfect member to do so; especially on 'kin specific subjects.

 

Overall Rating
2

In the Otherkin community there is a constant struggle between validation and rejection, whether it is over a select 'kin type or simply how you portray yourself. You could be the most articulate person when you are roving over your inner thoughts or carrying on a conversation with another person in real life. You may be able to create precise arguments and show your opinion in a well thought and applied manner that offends no one. But as soon as you enter the community saying that you are a fictive, a synthetic, a inanimate object, a plant, or to a lesser extent a shard of a god/goddess/'all powerful being', you are almost immediately labeled as someone who has an opinion that cannot be trusted until you go through a rigorous proving process. And if you do not pass through this gauntlet that at best consists of people degrading everything you say, informing you that what you are feeling and what you think is completely and utterly wrong, then you are either faking it or a troll.

Imagine you have just come to the realization of who and what you are. You finally have a sense of why you feel the way you do. Maybe it is for psychological reasons or perhaps it is spiritual. Whatever it may be, you have discovered yet another facet of who you are as a person and finally feel as though you have managed to confirm everything you have felt. There is now a label you can use in order to find more people with similar ideologies or spiritual beliefs. And in your excitement you join a forum or mailing list that caters either to your specific 'kin type or has an umbrella approach.

Then it happens.

You create and send your introductory post and immediately get hit by a wave of massive skepticism, people calling you out, saying that what you are isn't possible for X reason. For someone who has just discovered the community and finally managed to have a label that describes exactly who they are, this can not only be incredibly jarring but completely break the user in question. Now I hear some people say: it is just online, you shouldn't take what faceless anonymous people say too seriously because you don't know them and fuck them if their opinion is different. The internet can be very similar to real life--in fact, it is an extension of our collective realities. Perhaps you can take what faceless people say without giving them much credit. But when it comes to those who are 'wizened and great leaders' in their respective areas it can hurt; especially when you have finally found yourself after years of trying to find the right term. It can also make that person completely shy away from the community as a whole and not even give it a second chance. For all you know they would have been a extremely productive member and provided new ways of thinking.

I realize this can easily be applied to virtually every forum or web space out there. But on them you have at least one other person who will back you up or at the very least take you seriously and not go 'your just a troll, lololo you don't belong here'. In the Otherkin community when you have those with an unusual or different kin type, the vast majority of users WILL jump on you. And when someone who is in support of your specific type sees these people digging into the new user, most will either turn away because the user base will then in turn get onto them or because they figure someone else will have the balls to say 'Hey, guys, take it easy'. Most of the time there isn't.

As I said in the beginning, this most commonly happens to fictives and machine/inanimate 'kin. While the former is now more easily accepted, you still have people ragging on the latter grouping to the point where I only know of one other synthetic Otherkin. One. In a sea of thousands, if not millions. Why? Because they are terrified of the infighting and how people will suddenly view them differently because their type is just a little different than what is considered normal.

Here is a quote from a user whose name will not be disclosed, "...So I find that dogmatic statements like "I can be an elf, but you can't ne a house or a tree" automatically invalidate any metaphysical authority that the elf, in this case, has assumed. They usually seem to ignore that there is a philosophical precedent for metaphysics with diverse spirits that favors an inclusive approach."

For the Otherkin community--hell, even others out there--I think we should allow these people in and to allow them to grow as a person rather than immediately shunning them. While I admittedly see it less frequently, this only applies to TWO forums that have serious discussions while also allowing difference of opinion to be stated without everyone getting angry. And while I may be a synthetic Otherkin and thus have faced this exceedingly negative reproach first hand, my opinion on the matter is not fully colored by that experience. I can see it from the other side of the argument and understand why they may have acted the way they did. But it isn't the right way to approach every single person who joins a forum. While you may have those with skin so thick you could go into detail about how you are going to murder their entire family for their beliefs and they wouldn't even flinch, you also have those who are more sensitive to the opinions of other people.

Even when these other people are anonymous.

Overall, I think the Otherkin community (and others out there) should take a step back and take a look at both themselves and their users. Does it consist of a variety of people who are capable of holding intelligent arguments and refrain from completely offending the other users there because they take their opinions into account? Or is it completely overrun by users ganging up on select groups of people and trying to force them out of the fold?